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The Parsha Post — Shlach 5784

Выпуск: The Parsha Post — Shlach 5784. Темы: parsha_commentary. Поисковые термины: недельная глава, парша, parsha, פרשה, פרשת השבוע. ‫ב"ה‬ Issue #37 PARSHAS SHLACH ‫פרשת שלח‬ TNS - TORAH NEWS SERVICE Price: 1 Shekel The Parsha Post SUPER-SECRET SPIES SENT There have been unconfirmed, unverified and uncorroborated reports that Moshe has unofficially dispatched a group of 12 men to scout out the Land of Canaan. The report acknowledges that the Land of Canaan is a bountiful land with lush Challah Bakery fruit and valuable natural resources, yet their Craving for gluten-free, sugar-free, nut-free, military power is much for the Jewish Nation to conquer. HaShem declared that the youth of today will be the ones to ultimately PERILOUS PANDEMONIUM PREVAILS conquer and settle the Land.” Following 40 days of anticipation, the Meraglim Commission has finally released Challah-Free its report. We guarantee to have removed the Challah The response was immediate as people cried, wailed, and bawled portion that belongs to the Kohen from every loaf of Shabbos Challah throughout the night. It’s much safer here in the desert, surrounded by HaShem’s miraculous clouds.” GIANTS SPOTTED IN CANAAN It has been reported that there are DRAG ON gigantic giants in the Land of Canaan. heels of a 40-day spy “It was frightening,” said Yigal ben mission, it has been Yosef, who allegedly witnessed three declared that the Jews giants roaming the Chevron region. Following a rebellion They were spotted by the super- against the Almighty secret elite Meraglim Unit during an that came on the undercover discovery mission. According to sources close to the operation, the spies are expected to return with fruit samples, as well as strategic land-conquering information. I’d rather (sniffle) go back to (sob) Egypt!” SHAZAK.COM - Shazak Parsha  Out of Egypt  Queen of Persia  Miracle Lights any attempt to fight them,” the report concluded, “we will be crushed, crumpled, destroyed, demolished, shattered, and totally wiped out.

Издание

The Parsha Post

Дата

28 июня 2024 г.

Страниц

1

Темы: parsha_commentary